I have to share this one. Someone e-mailed me with a bunch of allegedly true quotes, taken from real court records. I have no reason to doubt them, and be warned, this could make you laugh hard.
Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?”
Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.”
Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?”
Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.”
Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”
Lawyer: “What is your relationship with the plaintiff?”
Witness: “She is my daughter.”
Lawyer: “Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?”
Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
Witness: “Oral.”
Lawyer: “How old are you?”
Witness: “Oral.”
Lawyer: “Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?”
Witness: “It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm.”
Lawyer: “And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?”
Lawyer: “Have you lived in this town all your life?”
Witness: “Not yet.”
Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”
Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”
Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”
If you know more of these, don’t hesitate to contact me or leave a comment!
